Real Hope for Real Hurt, pt.1: Where Is Your Faith?

Real Hope for Real Hurt, pt.1: Where Is Your Faith?

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” // Psalm 73:26

Hey guys! I hope you’ve been having a great start to 2020! It’s been a minute since I’ve released a blog, but I’m going to try and be back with new blogs every week again!

If you read any of the blogs I put out towards the end of last year, especially this one and this one, you know that I experienced a lot of hurt and disappointment in 2019. I didn’t realize this at the time, but the hurt and reality of all my disappointments had really taken it’s toll on me. I started to question God, and I just plain didn’t understand why nothing that I wanted or had been praying for was happening. I could feel my heart starting to harden, and I knew I was in trouble.

I saw all that to say this: out of my own experience, and the experiences of others around me, I know that hurt and pain and suffering is real. So many people wrestling with God–let alone His goodness–when times of trials come. But here’s the thing–sometimes the advice we get or the comfort others give (that is well intentioned, no doubt) isn’t what we need in those moments. What we need is REAL HOPE for REAL HURT. That’s what I want to talk about the next couple weeks.

We’re not talking about Romans 8:28–though that’s a great verse, and is certainly true.

We’re not talking about– “Everything happens for a reason”, though I believe that’s also true.

We’re not talking about– “It’ll happen, just have to wait”.

We’re talking about:

Who is God when my world falls apart and what can I hang my hope on to get through this? Because it doesn’t feel like anything is going to help me right now.

Who is God when my world falls apart and what can I hang my hope on to get through this? Because it doesn’t feel like anything is going to help me right now.

That’s where I was, and that is where so many of you are right now. So we’ll start here.

Recently I was reading Luke 8 in my Bible, and was reading the story of when the disciples were in a boat with Jesus and a really bad storm kicked up. These guys were in danger. The Bible goes so far as to say they were in “great danger”. Panicked, they rushed to Jesus, scared for their lives (literally), and they say, ““Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” (vs. 24).

So Jesus gets up and literally commands the winds and the waves to calm. And they do. When the storm subsided and all was calm, Jesus turned to His panicked disciples and says this: “Where is your faith?”

This hit me so hard when I read this. As almost Jesus Himself was saying these words directly to me. “Where is your faith?”

This got me thinking about where my faith actually was. I could say it was in God. But was it?

I think that’s where so many of us are right now. The winds are roaring and the waves are swamping our lives and we are drowning–just like the disciples. They knew where to turn, but I don’t know if they fully grasped Who they were turning to. If they had, would their reaction have been the same? Would panic have overtaken them? Or would they have remained calmly confident?

Honestly, I’m not sure. Fear is a human emotion, and if we were in a boat about to go under, I would surely be panicked. But in the midst of that panic, I have to wonder if there would there be an underlying peace because we knew Who is in our boat.

So I want to leave us with that question today. “Where is your faith?” Could it be that your faith is actually in yourself? Have you been putting everything all on your shoulders? Or maybe your faith is in someone else. Or something else. Honestly take a look at what you’re putting your faith in.

Next week, we’re going to talk about the components of the One we put our faith in. What makes Him trustworthy? Why can I choose to put my faith in Him? If you can’t wait for next week, you can always find me on social (IG and Twitter). Let’s talk about it. I want you to experience the real hope of Jesus. Because that’s where healing and real hope comes from.

Until Next Time,



Top 10 Lessons I Learned from the Past Decade

Top 10 Lessons I Learned from the Past Decade

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” // Psalm 90:12

Happy Last Monday of the DECADE!! This is the second blog that I put out this week, because not only is it the last few days of the year, but also of the decade. And if you know me at all, you know I love to reflect on what I’ve learned and am fascinated by how time defines things.

The 2010’s decade has been an interesting one for me. I spent more years out of school than I did in, (which didn’t occur to me until I thought about writing this blog. Seems like I spent more time in school than not!), and a lot happened this decade.

When I think about a span of ten years, I think about how much happens in that time. How much our lives change. The next ten years have the possibility to bring us the most unbelievable joys, the best surprises, and discovering more of our Creator. But before we jump into 2020, I want to take a look back at the 2010’s. Without further ado, here are the top 10 lessons I learned from the past 10 years.

  1. Your obedience to God, no matter what you’re losing now, will always be worth it in the end. This has by far been one of the biggest lessons to span this decade. Obedience is so, so, SO important. And it’s always worth it.
  2. Anxiety is scary, but it’ll pass. I struggled with anxiety like I never have before this past decade. But instead of trying to fight it like I have been, I wish I would’ve known that the body naturally clams itself down–so I don’t have to try obsessively to. Also, to know God as a loving Father instead of a God who expected perfection is a lesson well learned.
  3. Make a difference when and where you can. God gives us seasons–at jobs, with people, in certain areas. Don’t waste that time blending in, trying to hang with the cool crowd, or letting the world bog you down. Make a difference for Jesus in those places and in those moments while you have them (Matt. 5:16). One day it’ll be too late.
  4. Just because the answer is “no” now does not mean it will always be. If you read my blog that came out yesterday, you’ll read that this year was a big one for the two letter word “no”. And honestly, these past few years I’ve seen what I thought were the desires of my heart go left unfulfilled. But in the past decade, I’ve also seen things that I thought were gone for good come back and bring me the most joy I’ve ever had, because they were God’s thing and in God’s timing. No is not always not forever. You can trust God with your hearts desires (Psalm 37:4).
  5. Take time to get alone with Jesus–often and whenever else necessary. There was a period of time during my senior year of high school when I went through a period of losing all of my best friends. (Yeah, you read that right. All.) It was extremely tough, but that’s when I started reading the Bible when I had breaks in between classes and started seeking Him more, and that changed e v e r y t h i n g for me. Even now, I’ve learned that getting alone with Jesus–especially to start my day–is critically important. Seeking His face, His Word, and being with Him in prayer will allow you to grow in your relationship with Him and make space for Him to reveal all He has for you. Do it!
  6. Talking about relationships–don’t romanticize. I didn’t know the damage this could cause until recently. Stay present, keep your head out of the clouds, and seek God in all your romantic endeavors. Trust me, it’ll save you a boatload of heartache.
  7. Ask God to show you His best. This was a h u g e lesson for me a couple years ago. Sometimes our vision can get clouded by doubt, worry, confusion, or impatience that we are tempted to settle for what’s easy, or what’s available now, or simply put, less than God’s best. Do not do this! Ask God to show you His best. But when you do, be prepared to have Him show you what is not His best. That may be hard, but that too will be worth it.
  8. Guard your heart. There’s a reason we’re instructed–above all else–to guard our heart (Proverbs 4:23). Whether it be against bitterness, lust, jealousy, comparison, or something else, it is vital for us to ask God to help us guard our hearts. As the Scripture says, everything we do flows from our heart. If everything flows from it–we better make sure we’re guarding what we allow in it.
  9. You are set free in Christ–start acting like it. This decade, I learned that I am truly loved by the God of the universe. I am set free in Him. He is glorified when I embrace my freedom as a Child of God, when I am who He’s created me to be in ways that honor Him (Psalm 139:1-18). And above all else–He loves me! This was a huge revelation I experienced, and look forward to continuing to learn and walk that out in the new decade.
  10. Enjoy life. Goodness, just enjoy life! I can be so uptight and worried about everything, and yet God gives us all good things to enjoy (John 10:10, 1 Timothy 6:17)! Food, adventure, family, friends, work, whatever! It’s okay to have fun, to enjoy things! So glorify Him and feel free to enjoy life.

Well friends, that’s about it! There are so many more lessons I learned, but these are ones that were big and had lasting impacts from the last ten years. I cannot wait to see what the next ten years brings, and I pray that it’s full of blessing, abundance, and love for all of you.

Until Next Time,

Stephanie Jaye ❤


P.S. — Remember to check out my year-end blog from yesterday, too!

He Knows How It Hurts

He Knows How It Hurts

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet He did not sin.” // Hebrews 4:15

Happy Sunday!

Well, *lets a out a long, deep breath*. If you can’t tell from the title of this blog, I’ve been through a rather trying and painful season these last couple weeks, and honestly they have been some of the most emotionally painful days of my life thus far. Emotions and pain I didn’t know I could feel, wrestling I didn’t know I could handle, and tears I didn’t think would stop.

But as I was going through days of tears, anguish, and hurt, I was constantly reminded of Hebrews 4:15, along with other verses I will share below. And while I was reminded of these verses, I was also reminded of a discussion I had with a couple family members a few months back when another relative was going through a painful period. In the midst of our discussion, these words were spoken, and it changed everything:

He knows how it hurts.

It’s amazing to me that no matter the situation we’re going through in life, Jesus has been through it. We don’t have a God who is distant, far off, or unable to relate. Maybe it’s a breakup, and you think that Jesus couldn’t know what it feels like to have His heart broken. He does. We break His heart every time we choose sin instead of Him, and when people turn away from His love and His gift of eternal life. Maybe it’s a loss of a child, God knows how that feels, too. He gave His one and only Son to be crucified for us, so that we could know Him. He watched as Jesus died, as the nails went through His hands. He knows what that feels like. We could keep going on, but the point is this: God knows how you’re hurting, and He’s right there with you.

God knows how you’re hurting, and He’s right there with you.

In the midst of my situation this past week, Psalm 139:16-18 became my refuge. It says this:

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with You.”

Through my tears, I was reminded that before I even was born, before I could breath my first breathe, God had all my days written out. None of them come as a surprise, none of them throw Him off His throne, and there is no situation He is not prepared for. I remember saying to myself, “God knew this was coming.”

I said those words, not in an angry way, but to remind myself that God was still there, and since He knew this was coming, He knew how to be there for me, how to help me cope, and how to lead me along.

Since He knew this was coming, He knew how to be there for me, how to help me cope, and how to lead me along.

Maybe you’re in a season of disappointment, discouragement, loss, or pain. Hear me when I say this: God loves you. God sees you. God is still in control. You will be okay.

He’s not angry, He’s not fed up with your pain, He’s not sick of your tears. He’s close, He loves you, and He knows how it hurts.

Do I still feel the pain? Yes. But I know that God is still in control and that His Word promises me His presence and His comfort. Psalm 34:18 tells us, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God is close, friend. He is closer than ever, and He’s ready to save. He’s not angry, He’s not fed up with your pain, He’s not sick of your tears. He’s close, He loves you, and He knows how it hurts. Come to Him, rest in His arms, and choose to take His hand and trust Him today.

Prayer: Lord, help me to feel You close to me. Remind me that You’re thinking about me — thoughts that are so many I couldn’t even count — and all of them are good, just like Psalm 139:17 says. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for being here for me. Please lead me through as I surrender my hurting heart to You. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

Until Next Time,

Stephanie Jaye


P.S. — Can I pray for you? If you’re hurting today, feel free to reach out via Twitter or Instagram with the handle above, or in the comments below. I’d love to pray for you.

P.P.S. — Stick around, next week we’re going to talk about finding purpose in the hurt and pain. See you then!

I Joined a Dating Site – And Why I Think It’s Okay

I Joined a Dating Site – And Why I Think It’s Okay

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” // 2 Corinthians 6:14

Happy Sunday!

So, I have kind of a different blog coming at you guys today. One that I’m not sure I’d ever be writing. But this is what’s been going on in my life very recently, and I thought it’d be beneficial to share with you and hopefully to aid in a healthy discussion of this topic.

About a month ago, I started looking into online dating sites after my mom half-way was joking but half-way was serious about me trying online dating. Never thinking I’d actually do it, I did some research, read some reviews, and ultimtely tried a free trial on one. That was that. For a bit.

After a while and a sequence of events that I’ll spare you from, I really started getting this overwhelming urge to return to the dating site and actually DO THE THING. I had this anxious, but peaceful, confirmation from God about it after much prayer and doing research on what other Godly people had to say on the topic. At the end of the day, I did it.

So why am I telling you all this? Well, for one, I want to have a discussion about the implications of online dating and how a Christian should view it, just in case someone out there is thinking about trying it and is looking for a Godly perspective on it like I was.

As long as you’re seeking God and following His lead through the process, you’re not manipulating anything.

One of the biggest drawbacks most Christians have with online dating is that it seems to indicate a possible lack of trust in God’s timing and faithfulness to provide a spouse. I thought this one through pretty well because I certainly am not one to overstep God on His timing (though I’ve been tempted–as we all probably have). However, I came to the conclusion that me doing this was not an indication of that at all. I felt like God was actually nudging me in that direction. If you have prayed about online dating and feel God’s peace about it…do it! After all, He is the one who has to get you and your future spouse both on the SAME dating site at the SAME time. As long as you’re seeking God and following His lead through the process, you’re not manipulating anything. If it’s not God’s will for you to find your spouse at the time, you won’t. It’s up to you to follow and listen to His guidance so you don’t settle and make the wrong decision about a spouse, though. That’s something to consider as you contemplate your decision.

Another thing to consider regarding online dating is if you’re confident in knowing what you want in a spouse. Have you been praying for your future spouse? Are you in a good spot in life where you’re reading for a real, intentional dating relationship with another Godly person? If the answer to these questions is YES, then maybe you should try it out!

At the end of the day, I don’t think God frowns upon online dating. After all, it’s just a place to meet other people in our modern day. Just like going to a football game, a church group, or a party, it’s just another place to meet people who you might not have otherwise. What God IS concerned about is the person you’re to marry and the qualities that person should have. (That’s a totally different blog, one that maybe I’ll do someday!)

What God IS concerned about is the person you’re to marry and the qualities that person should have.

While I was in the process of making my decision, I watched the videos below to help me think things through. Above all, I prayed and followed where I felt God leading. Hopefully between this article and the resources below, you can form your own opinion of the topic.

When we chase Jesus and follow wherever He leads, you never know, someday we might just change the world. ❤

Until next time,

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Colton Jumped the Fence. Jesus took the Cross.

Colton Jumped the Fence. Jesus took the Cross.

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” // Romans 5:8

If you pay any attention to reality TV or any entertainment news, you’ve probably heard the now infamous phrase, “Colton jumped the fence.” All the hype surrounded the two-part finale of The Bachelor this past week. If for some reason you’re unfamiliar with the show, it’s where one person is cast as the lead and goes on a quest for love with about thirty potential mates, and as the show goes on, the lead eliminates their potential suitors until there are only two left. The lead then chooses one person to spend the rest of their life with. So this season its lead was 26 year old Colton Underwood, but it ended quite different than most seasons of The Bachelor. Two weeks before the show was set to end, the girl Colton wanted to be with, Cassie Randolph, broke up with him. And this left him upset – to up it mildly. After Cassie left the show, Colton was so upset by this that he ran away from the production set and jumped an eight foot high fence to do it.

Image result for colton fence jump gif

However, he didn’t do this because he was mad. He did this because his love for Cassie was so deep that he couldn’t imagine going on without her. After he jumped the fence and ran away, the production crew eventually found him and convinced him to come back to the show. At this time, Colton still had two potential girls he could choose to propose to. Two girls who were in love with him. But he wanted Cassie. And because he loved Cassie so much, he broke up with the two remaining girls, risking the loss of every relationship left, to try and pursue Cassie again, in hopes she’d reconsider.

At the end of it all, Colton did convince Cassie to give it another shot, and the two are now together and in love (yay for happy endings!). Now, why bring all this up and how does it relate to anything in our own life?

There’s something in all of us that love love. We all love it when someone goes after the person they love with all their heart. We all want someone to “jump a fence” for us. We all want to be pursued without reservation.

There’s something in all of us that love love. We all love it when someone goes after the person they love with all their heart. We all want someone to “jump a fence” for us. We all want to be pursued without reservation. That’s why we love the movie scenes when the guy chases down a plane leaving with the girl he loves on it. The romance novel that detail the boy who does anything to get the girl. And while most see these circumstances as unrealistic for our every day life, I don’t believe so. In fact, I think God wired us this way.

I think God wired us this way because God knew He would send Jesus to woo us, to pursue us in this exact same way.

I think God wired us this way because God knew He would send Jesus to woo us, to pursue us in this exact same way. Jesus left everything to pursue our hearts (Luke 15:1-7). He left the comforts of heaven, He came to this dirty and dusty earth, He became a servant and ultimately endured the most grueling death known to mankind (Philippians 2:5-8, John 3:16). Why?

Because He loves you.

Because He wants you.

Ladies! You have a man who has left it all to pursue your heart. There is a man who jumped every fence in His way to get to you. To woo you. To have you. This is the greatest romance of all time! And yet it’s so often that we settle for thinking we’re not deserving of that kind of love in this life because we don’t get it from some guy who doesn’t pursue us like that. But no matter what a guy has or has not done for you – Jesus has done this for you! And nothing can change that (Romans 8:39, John 10:28-30).

So today, remember that you have a God who loves you more than you can imagine. He’s waiting for you every second of every day. Even if you’ve walked away like Cassie did to Colton, even if you’ve wanted nothing to do with Him, even if you’ve messed up. We’ve all done this stuff. But Jesus died for us anyways. And He’d do it all over again for you right now if He had to.

So, look up and see that you have been pursued with God’s whole heart, without abandon. And don’t settle for anyone in life that treats you less than this. Wait for the person pursues you like Jesus would. Who fights for you like Jesus does. Who loves you like Jesus.

When we wait for His best and bask in His love right now, some day we might just change the world. ❤

Oh! And guys … “jumping a fence” is now the new standard. So get practicing 😛

(Just kidding. Maybe.)

Until Next Time,

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Jesus, I want Your way no matter what that means I leave behind: 17 Things I Learned in 2017

Jesus, I want Your way no matter what that means I leave behind: 17 Things I Learned in 2017

“At the LORD’s command the Israelites set out, and at His command they encamped. As long as the cloud stayed over the tabernacle, they remained in camp. When the cloud remained over the tabernacle a long time, the Israelites obeyed the LORD’s order and did not set out.” -Numbers 9:18-19

Happy New Year, everyone! Can you believe it’s the end of 2017 already? I feel like we were just ringing in the year, and now it’s coming to a close. It’s crazy how fast this year went by. I felt like I blinked and it was gone.

However, this year was indeed filled with many things. Many good, and a few bad. Over all, I can say that 2017 was a good year for me. Probably the best in recent years. And during this year, I had this idea to write down these lessons that I had been learning, and boy am I glad that I did. While I’m only going to give you 17 of the ones I had written down that I had learned from this year, I was stunned when I looked back on the pages of pages of things I had written down! It’s been such a blessing to me to look back on these lessons, and to carry them forward with me into the future.

If I had to choose one word that summed up 2017, it would be surrender. This was a year that was, especially in the last half of the year, characterized by surrender. Surrender of relationships, dreams, and plans. And these things were not always easy. However, it was out of some of these things I had to surrender that some of the most powerful lessons came about, many which are listed below.

So without delay, here are the 17 things I learned in 2017 that I wanted to share with you today. May these strengthen you in your own walk with Christ and in seasons to come in your own life.

  1. Your obedience to God, no matter what you’re losing now, will always be worth it in the end. This was one of the most powerful lessons I learned this year, and one that I repeat to myself over and over again. When you obey God, you may be losing something now, but no matter what it is, it will always be worth it in the end (see Philippians 3:7-11).
  2. Pray for God to guard your heart. This is one of the most powerful things you can do. And it works. He will guard your heart against temptation, emotions, and wrong desires. Pray this as many times a day as you need to. It works. And it’s commanded in Scripture. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Above all else. Pray for God to guard your heart.
  3. Fear melts away in the face of surrender. In my struggle with fear and anxiety, God revealed to me that these emotions often arise when I’m in conflict with God. When I don’t want to do what He’s asking of me, or I want to do something my own way. But true freedom is found in obedience and surrender to God. When we walk in obedience to Him, joy, life and peace will fill our hearts like it would no other way. Plus, there’s a boldness and courage that empowers you when you submit and do what God says. There’s a peace that floods you when you give in to God and His way.
  4. Live today and consecrate yourself as though God will do amazing things among you tomorrow. Right before the nation of Israel was about to cross the Jordan River and enter in to all the fulfillment of the promises of God, Joshua gave them this command in Joshua 3:5, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.” Basically what Joshua was saying was that they were to set themselves apart, to make sure their hearts were ready for the amazing things God was going to do tomorrow. So, always have your heart in a posture that if God were to drop a miracle or hit the start button on something in your life tomorrow, you’d be ready to receive and walk in it.
  5. Pray for people to share the Gospel with. I did this a few times this year, and God answers this prayer. God will bring people into your path to share the Gospel with. He may do so without you praying this, but if you’re having a hard time sharing the Gospel, pray for God to bring those people into your life, and He will. And then He’ll help you carry out that mission to share the Gospel with them.
  6. Every no is a yes to something else. And every yes is a no to something else. Every choice you make impacts something else. Think about the end result of your choices before you say yes or no to something.
  7. Life is hard work. You can’t just sit on standby or auto Pilate.
  8. Run your own race. God has called and set everybody on a different course in life. Don’t compare and certainly don’t judge others based on their lane in the race. And don’t listen to others who try and distract or discourage your way in life. God has ordained that, too.
  9. Don’t waste opportunities to make a difference while you have them. Your words, actions, and smile could change someone’s day and even life. There’s no delete button in life. Live without regrets and seize the opportunities while you have them, because most of the time, you don’t get a second chance.
  10. There are seasons where God has us set apart for training in Godliness. God often brings His children into a season of waiting. This is when He trains us for all that is to come. This time is so critical, so never despise it. When He moves us forward, we’ll have the foundation of this time to keep us grounded and we’ll know how to live when we get to where God is calling us.
  11. You don’t lose or waste any time by waiting on God. He knows the exact, right time for everything.
  12. Don’t waste or despise times of singleness. It’s just a season. When you’re with someone, that’s often not a season, but a whole new way of life.
  13. It is vital to always be in the Word and keep your relationship with God fresh and vibrant, because when someone comes along and asks you about your faith or needs witnessing to, you’ll be ready (1 Peter 3:15).
  14. You can’t save people. Only Jesus can do that. You can’t force the truth on other people. Your job is to pray for them, share the Gospel with them, and live the Gospel for them to see, and let God do the rest in time. Just do your part and God will do the rest.
  15. Ask God to show you His best. Oftentimes I think we settle for okay because we don’t have the patience to wait for what God’s best is. But it’s so vital to know what God wants in and for your life, and what He doesn’t. So pray, “Jesus, show me Your best”. But also be prepared to have Him show you what’s not His best. But either way, needing to know what God’s best for you is vitally important. You don’t ever want to settle for what His best isn’t—even if it looks best to you at the moment. His best is so much more than we could ever hope or dream of.
  16. I don’t have to be in control because I follow the One who is. God knows all. I don’t. When I lock my eyes with Him and just follow Him, He’ll never lead me wrong, and it’ll save a lot of heartache. Pray, “God, teach me to follow”.
  17. Enjoy life! This is one I’m learning. God gave us good things to enjoy! He loves to see us enjoying the good things of His creation. Lighten up. Have fun. Enjoy life. You’re set free in Christ, we need to start living like it. And enjoying the good things in life that God provides is one way to do that. He loves to see His children joyful and loving the life He’s provided for them. The real, abundant, and joyful life that is rightfully ours in Christ Jesus.

Well, that’s about 17, ya’ll. I hope these are an encouragement to you. Thank you for all of you who take the time to read what I write and for those who have been an encouragement to me over the past year. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for 2018. May it be a year of growing in Christ, loving Him more, and watching His marvelous plan unfold.

❤ Stephanie



What To Do While Waiting for “The One”

What To Do While Waiting for “The One”

“Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” -Psalm 27:14

Last week I put up a blog post title, “Why I’m not freaking out that I haven’t found “the one” yet, and why you shouldn’t be, either.” If you haven’t had a chance to read it, please go back and do so. This was actually going to be all one blog post (last week’s and this week’s), but it was really long. So I thought I’d split it up. That being said, please try and read last week’s to get some context as to what’s happening! 🙂

The topic this week is what we’re supposed to be doing while we’re single and waiting for “the one” as Christians.

So what should we do while we’re waiting? Here are a few vital things.

  1. Stay obedient. I know I mentioned this in the last blog, but it’s absolutely critical. We must stay obedient to God in order for Him to align everything down the road. Yes, God has a perfect plan, but we must stay inside of His plan in order for things to go according to plan. If we misstep and throw the plan off for the moment, it’s okay. It just means that it might take a little longer to get where we’re going. And none of us want that. So, stay obedient.
  2. Trust Him. Again, I know I stated this before, but it’s another thing that’s so important. If we can’t trust God with the idea and desire for a spouse, then what are we going to do when we find that spouse? Singleness is a prime season for learning to trust God. Remember, our future spouse is not intended to replace God, but to grow us closer to God. So while we’re waiting, let’s build the root and foundation of trusting in God now.
  3. Grow in our relationship with God. We have a lot more free time as singles than those committed to marriage do. And before we get into a relationship, it’s important that we are committed to God and His Word, first. Devote yourself to prayer, reading and studying the Scriptures, and serving one another. That way you’re going into a relationship not looking for the other person to fulfill you, but you’re going in it to be with someone you can further God’s Kingdom with.
  4. Pray for, and about, your future spouse. Start asking God to bring you a Godly person to be your spouse. Pray for the qualities you want in a spouse, and pray for those qualities to be in the person God has for you. Pray for them and their faith, family, and circumstances, too. It may sound crazy, but because God knows who we’re talking about, it’s actually a pretty cool thing we can do. And we might even get to see the results of those prayers someday. And while you’re on the topic of praying for qualities you want in your future spouse, let that be a mirror to reflect who you should be working to become as a future spouse as well. If you’re praying for someone who loves others more than themselves, the chances are, that person’s going to be looking for a person with those same selfless attributes. So, you can look at yourself and ask God what He wants you to focus on so that in the future you can be a Godly spouse for someone, too.
  5. Do not settle. Oh guys, I can’t stress this enough. Do not. Do not. Do not settle. Don’t settle for the next guy that says hi to you because he noticed you. God has not made you to settle. When we settle, we’re telling God that His best isn’t worth the wait. And trust me, it is. Can it be hard somedays, yes. But, waiting on God is the most important thing we can do. I’d rather be single for another ten years than to settle for something that’s not from God because I can’t wait another moment for God to bring me His best. And this principal really applies to anything. Whether it be a job, a move, a spouse, ect. We make an absolute mess of our lives when we refuse to wait on God, take things into our own hands, and settle. Do not settle. God’s best for you is wayyyyyy better than that.

One last thing on this whole subject. Remember when looking for a spouse, they need to be a Christian, too. If you’re a Christian, you need someone else who is a Christian, too (see 2 Corinthians 6:14-18). Marriage is designed to reflect Christ and the Church (see Ephesians 5:21-33). You should be with someone who is bringing you closer to Christ, not farther away. You need to be with someone who will pray with you, study the Bible with you, serve with you, and love you as Christ loved us. This is how God intended for marriage to be.

If you’re single—stay faithful to God. He knows. He sees you. He hears you. Stay faithful and stay obedient. God promises His best to those who wait on Him.

We’ll talk soon 🙂












Why I’m Not Freaking Out That I Haven’t Found “The One” Yet, and Why You Shouldn’t Be, Either.

Why I’m Not Freaking Out That I Haven’t Found “The One” Yet, and Why You Shouldn’t Be, Either.

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” -Psalm 139:16

This is a blog post that I’ve been wanting to write for about a week now. It seems like everywhere you look, people are getting engaged or married, and on top of all of that, it seems like there is an unspoken expectation in the Christian community about getting married by a certain age. Now, before I begin, I want to say that this is no way, shape, or form a dis on anyone who is dating, engaged, or married, or anyone who has just become one of these things—and you’ll see why in a little bit that we’re able to celebrate these precious things in life with you, even when the single ones are left, well, single.

Also, please note that this blog post is written with the intention of the reader one day getting married, that day just happens to not be today. I’m not going to talk about  or from the point of the exception of those who have the gift of singleness. I may or may not talk about that some other time. So, let’s begin!

I was at a store a couple weeks ago and I ran into an older-ish man I used to go to church with years back, and shortly into our conversation, this was how it went:

Him: Are you married, yet?

Me: No.

Him: How old are you?

Me: 21.

Him: Oh, you’ve got a couple years yet.

No kidding, this is what happened. But it’s really not that uncommon. I don’t think a lot of us talk about it, but it seems that if Christians aren’t married—or at least found “the one”—by age 22, then we’re going to be single for the rest of our lives.

So to all of those single Christians out there approaching college graduation, let me assure you, it’s okayReally, it’s okay if you haven’t found your person yet. And to all those single Christians who are approaching 30 and all of your friends are already married, it’s okay. And if you’re in your thirties and there still hasn’t been anyone for you yet, it’s okay.

To be perfectly honest, I’m 21, and I’ve never had a boyfriend. Ever. And it’s okay.

So, I wanted to take a moment to present to you why I’m not freaking out that I haven’t found “the one” yet, and give you some encouragement as to why you shouldn’t be, either.

  1. GOD KNOWS. He knows, fam. He knows where you are, He knows where you’re going, and He knows His perfect plan for you. In fact, He even knows who your future spouse is. He knows the color of their hair, the shape of their eyes, their biggest joys so far, and their biggest fears. He was there when they were being knitted together in their mother’s womb. He created them. Just like He created youSo not only does God know you inside and out, but He knows your future spouse inside and out, too. And this is terrific news. This means that God knows where they are, and what needs to happen to bring you both together, and He knows exactly how that’s going to happen. And trust me, He’s doing a much better job than you or I ever could. We may not see it or understand it now, but if we stay obedient, we will see His perfect plan unfold. And if we stay obedient, it will be beyond our wildest dreams. And that’s not hype, either. God loves you. He knows what and who is going to be best for you. Trust Him with that.
  2. No one’s road in life is the same. This is one of the reason comparison is such a deadly trap. God has not created me and you the same. He has also not called me and you into the exact same season of life right now. Your best friend may be getting married in two months, and you’re both the exact same age, but your best friend’s purpose and road in life is very different from yours. And that’s okay. God didn’t make copies when He made humans. He made them completely unique. Your story and your race will always look different from those around you. Just because you’re single right now doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It just means that God has called you to singleness right now. That season may not last forever. But trust that while you’re single, God wants to do something amazing in your life right where you are, right now. There might be something right around the bend that will bless your life so abundantly, but you might need to be in this season of singleness to grab onto it. We don’t know all the details, but trust that God’s purpose for your life is so much greater than your own. He sees the beginning from the end, and He knows what the best time is for everything.
  3. If it’s God’s will that I get married, then He knows who I’m going to marry, therefore I can trust that the person I’m going to marry isn’t going to be getting married to someone else anytime soon. Of course, there could be an exception to this, but primarily speaking, God is saving your future spouse for you. Some way, shape or form. Please, please don’t freak out when you see someone getting married and think that makes one less person available for you. Your person is not getting married, and God knows that your future spouse is yours. It might take a day for them to come into your life, or it might take another ten years. Either way, we can trust that God is in control. His timing is best. All we have to do is trust Him.

Next week, I want to talk about what to do while we’re waiting for a future spouse. I think it’ll be really practical and encouraging. So make sure to stay tuned for that!

One last thing before I go—I’ve really been loving Psalm 139:16 lately. It tells us this:

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”

Every day of your life is already written, guys. God knows. He knows it all. And He loves you more than you could ever imagine. Lean into this truth today, and let His love saturate you as you trust and wait in Him.

We’ll talk soon,



Jeremiah 29:11- “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”